When Ndiferanji Betha a 26 year old mother of two from Chiradzulu district in southern Malawi tested positive to HIV last December, little did she know that her status would break her family.
Ndiferanji who was at the time in the second month of her third pregnancy learnt that she was HIV positive after the routine HIV tests that are administered to all pregnant women going for antenatal clinics in Malawi as part of the Prevention of Mother to Child Transmission(PMCT) programme.
Knowing that HIV was transmitted through sexual activity Ndiferanji felt that she was obliged to tell her husband of the news as the probability that he could also be carrying the virus was very high.
However to her surprise, her husband could not take the news that he was having the probability of carrying HIV. He refused to go for an HIV test and walked out of their matrimonial house the following day.
Ndiferanji is not the only woman in Malawi whose family has been broken following the disclosure of an HIV sero positive result.
25-year-old Maria Mbewe,a mother of one from the sprawling Mtopwa location in the city of Blantyre met a similar fate in January this year upon disclosing her HIV positive status to her husband.
Mbewe, a a teacher by profession had taken all the precautions before disclosing her status.
She first got advice from her councilor on how she could break the news of her status to her husband, but to her surprise her husband left their matrimonial home the following day.
“He blamed me of bringing the virus into the family he said that I was seeing other men who infected me as he could not have contacted the virus himself, “she said.
Incidents of marriage break-ups as a result of an HIV positive status disclosure by a partner in Malawi have become very common in Malawi recently.
HIV and AIDS experts attribute the situation to gender imbalances that make women submissive to their husbands making them victims of abuse when HIV comes in the family.
Martha Kwataine National Coordinator for the Malawi Health Equity Network (MEHN) blames the marriage break-ups in families to the current model of antenatal clinics where only the wife attends the clinics.
Kwataine said there was need to advocate for a system where both partners attend the clinics and are tested for HIV as a couple.
“The recent developments we have heard in the media of men leaving their wives because of an HIV positive test result shows that women currently continue to suffer the blunt of HIV and it s there fore imperative that partners attend antenatal clinics together so that they can get the HIV test result as a couple, “she said.
Principal Secretary for HIV, AIDS and Nutrition in the Malawi office of the president and cabinet Dr Mary Shawa said it was ‘shocking’ to hear that some men were leaving their wives because they had tested positive to HIV.
Shawa said this indicated that women are suffering silently to the effects of the pandemic as in most African set-ups men are those that usually engage in extra marital affairs.
“Women just like men are vulnerable to HIV infection and it is very shocking to hear that some men decide to leave their wives because of an HIV positive test result, “she said.
Dr Shawa said this indicated that women in Malawi still suffered various forms of sexual reproductive health rights.
“Women rights are human rights and they should also apply in the response to HIV and AIDS,”says Undule Mwakasungula Executive Director of the Centre for Human Rights and Rehabilitation (CHRR).
According to Mwakasungula men that are walking out of their houses because of their wives HIV positive test result are violating the rights of the women.
He said there is need for Malawi to develop a special legislation that would protect women in situations where there husbands want to divorce them because of an HIV positive test result.
CHRR has been conducting sensitization campaigns on HIV based stigma and discrimination and according to Mwakasungula, they have been receiving a lot of reports of marriage breakups as a result of an HIV positive disclosure by a partner.
Mwakasungula attributed the marriage break-ups to the ‘shame’ that is wrongly associated with HIV and AIDS that he said discourages men to seek HIV testing and counseling and makes them bitter when their partner tells them she tested positive to HIV.
“Many men prefer not to know their status because of the fear of discrimination that comes with a positive sero-status result,”
Emma Kaliya National coordinator of the NGO Gender Coordinating Network however said it was not only women in Malawi that have been facing the blunt of disclosing their HIV positive sero status to their husbands.
She said she had received reports where women were also alleged to have divorced their husbands as a result of an HIV positive test result.
“The problem has been caused by the fear of contracting HIV and knowledge gaps on how one can protect a partner in discordant couples, “she said
She attributed stigma and discrimination towards people living with HIV as one of the major contributors to the problem.
George Kamapango Programmes officer at the Malawi Network of people living with HIV (MANET+) said there was need for proper planning before disclosing an HIV positive test result o a partner.
He said with the negative perceptions people still have on HIV positive living one needed to prepare his partner before disclosing that she had tested positive.
“There are a lot of emotional feelings that come when one test HIV positive and one needs to prepare his partner for the news that she has tested positive, “he said.