“If I was Robert Mugabe”

  1. Posted on Wednesday 11 February 2009 - 11:55
    jerrynguwa
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    Jerry Nguwa, AfricaNews contributor in Nairobi, Kenya
    If I woke up one of these mornings and find myself in Robert Mugabe's skin, I would first of all split myself into two different people. The first would be an energetic and ambitious young Mugabe exiled in Ghana with patriotism filling my head and pouring out of my ears. The second would be a defiant, arrogant and desperately praying to God to allow my death in power.
    Mugabe
    As the first Mugabe, I would teach my students the values of dignity in life. I would also wake up in the morning listening to the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) on the happenings of my first love South Rhodesia. I would avoid promising heaven and earth to my dear Ghanaian lover.

    As the second Mugabe, I would wake up one morning and order restitution of land to my fellow Zimbabweans from white neo-colonialists as I like referring to them. I would send my Beatles to beat that puppet of the west called Morgan whatever. I would use the country as a sole proprietorship business that I started in 1982. I would ban from entering Zimbabwe whoever would raise his/her voice against my way of running business.

    I would send my troops to Congo in exchange of shinkolobwe minerals to boost my collapsing sole trade business. I would take my private jet and head to Cairo from where I would connect to New York for the annual United Nations meeting and laugh to the EU. I would warn the Kenyan Prime Minister Raila Odinga never ever to set foot in my country for security reasons. I would start buying maize from our very rich neighboring country Malawi. I would promise Morgan a prime minister vote with vague functions for security purpose.

    And if for real I was Mugabe, I would send my wife and kids to Italy for shopping and ban them from re-entering Zimbabwe. I would sit on my bedroom desk and write tediously my will. I would take my pistol, shoot my young head and die in dignity instead of going the Milosevic way.

    And if I was Mugabe for real, I would be dead by now for struggle against neo-colonialism.

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  1. Posted on Sunday 29 March 2009 20:31
    Maditla
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    Neo Maditla
    35 berichten
    Lid sinds October 2007
    Pretoria, South Africa

    If only...
    Pretoria, Gauteng and surrounding areas and news on places I have been to elsewhere in the country

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